Over time, I became overwhelmed. Work, personal commitments, the weight of it all quietly building. And slowly, it led to a deep depression.

I tried everything I knew. But this was different, and I couldn’t push past it. Slowly at first, then all at once, things fell apart.

I lost my marriage, my career, and my sense of myself. I survived a suicide attempt, spent time in a psychiatric ward, and for five painful years alcohol was the only thing I felt I could reach for. It was the darkest period of my life.

Getting back to recovery wasn’t something I did on my own. It came through intervention, through people who refused to give up on me, and through what felt like a second gift I hadn’t earned but was determined not to waste. Something in me was different this time. I knew I couldn’t go back to doing things the way I always had. I needed a deeper understanding of myself - my emotions, my history, the patterns that had helped me survive but were no longer serving me.

As I slowly rebuilt, I noticed something important: others were struggling in similar ways. People early in recovery trying to make sense of what they were feeling. And people long-term sober but stuck, unsure why old tools no longer felt sufficient.

That’s when my purpose became clear.

In 2020, we started Friendly Circle Berlin as a small online meeting centered on emotional sobriety. I never imagined it would grow the way it did. People stepped forward. Volunteers, peers, people in their own recovery - who believed in the same thing we did: that recovery isn’t just about abstinence but about understanding ourselves in deeper, kinder, more honest ways. Among them was Mateya, who became a true partner in everything that followed. Together, and with so many generous hands along the way, we built Recovery Reimagined Initiatives to make recovery education accessible, affordable, and grounded in lived experience.